Finn’s Story
*Finn’s parents live in the USA therefore some of the terms are different than those used in the UK*
On November 5th, 2021 my wife and I found out we were once again pregnant after two previous early miscarriages. We were cautiously excited, but not allowing ourselves to get attached, fearing for the worst to happen again. Each scan was met with positive news and on December 15th, 2021 we graduated our fertility clinic and became a “normal” pregnant couple! We were ecstatic! We finally felt that this little one was ours, that we would be moms in several months!
First Anatomy Scan
On January 4th we had Finn’s first anatomy scan at our local OB office and the findings suggested that his abdomen had not closed as it should and his organs may have been growing externally – a fairly easy surgical fix after birth with a small stay in the NICU.
Hearing, though, that there may be something ‘wrong’ with our sweet boy, we lived in fear for 3 weeks. On January 31st, we had our first scan with a local MFM and we were told that his abdomen looked great (huge sigh of relief) … but the issue was actually much more dire and actually life-limiting. The MFM immediately suggested termination as the diagnosis was “lethal” and said he could schedule us in that week.
Second Opinion
We chose to continue with the pregnancy and sought a second opinion at Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital in NYC. On February 16th, after an MRI, two more in-depth anatomy scans, and many meetings with new top-notch MFMs, our deepest fear was confirmed. Our son (18 weeks) had officially been diagnosed with bilateral renal agenesis (lack of kidneys) and would not survive for long after birth. The cycle of life that takes place in utero (kidneys produce urine, bladder pees out urine, urine becomes amniotic fluid, baby drinks amniotic fluid to develop their lungs) could no longer happen. His lungs just would not develop. His organs would not develop.
Palliative Care Team
That same day, we met with our beautiful palliative care team, who truly became our second family for the next 4 months. They encouraged us to adventure with our son, so we rallied our community and created a beautiful life for our boy. Our son’s nursery was going to be Where the Wild Things Are themed, so instead we turned this into his Wild Adventure. He was Finn, the King of All Wild Things. He had a hashtag on Instagram #FinnOfAllWildThings and a blog to document every step of his life. His little life was being celebrated, because he was worth celebrating!
On June 29th, at 37 weeks 4 days, our son was born after a beautiful birth and his entire team being present in the room. No one knew how much time Finn would be on Earth for, or if the trauma of birth would be too much for his little heart and lungs. But at 2:37PM, Finn roared his beautiful roar and gave his moms 2 hours and 13 minutes before peacefully sailing off in his private boat to Heaven.
Defying Every Odd
Finn defied every odd. He wasn’t supposed to make it full term, but he did. He wasn’t supposed to come out crying, but he did. He didn’t have to change the world, but he did.
Even though Finn is not here on Earth anymore, we know he is here. We feel his presence and we feel his love and we live every day to make him proud. Finn will forever be in our hearts and we will forever be his Mommy and Mama.
We will always love you, Finn Owen John.
